(Waiter, there's a scorpion in my drink.) Bottom Shelf columnist, fast food reviewer. All products linked here have been independently selected by our editors. 13. Crown Russe came in third. Part of the negative stigma surrounding vodka is due to the massive amount of cheap, bad vodka on the market. Which vodka do you think is the shittiest of the shittiest? 10. He said that he drinks frequently, but the hangovers that he gets are never as bad as the one he had that day. I will concede that there's more stale marshmallow flavor than I expected, but it's not a nice flavor. It’s made with 100 percent Polish potatoes, which are fermented and distilled through a single copper column still, giving the spirit a silky flavor that tastes way more expensive than it actually is. What makes vodka cheap? They began to flail their arms around while yelling in disgust at the repugnance that just slid down all of their throats. Water is good for you. They asked if they can do process of elimination to guess which vodka the last one is. Nowadays, vodka is consistently one of the top selling spirits in the US, accounting for 74.1 million cases sold and $6.6 billion in revenue in 2019 according to the Distilled Spirits Council. That shot was not that bad.” They voted it must be Pinnacle. We find that with most rosé vodka types that aren’t Hangar 1 taste, well, completely awful. It's more as if a cherry Pop Tart were dissolved in a vat of vinegar. Rhianna, Meghan and Vince cheersed to their first shot. “Even the worst products now are better than what they had back in the day,” he says. Here are 15 great vodka makers to try. I let each of them know ahead of time that there will be four rounds and each round will consist of either: Vladimir, Crown Russe, Pinnacle or Svedka. It’s easy to blame the vodka, but the truth is, when something is less expensive we’re more inclined to over-consume. Made in Austin, Texas in small-batches the old-fashioned way, Tito's definitely has something homey and special about it. We reserve the right to delete off-topic or inflammatory comments. 5. Vodka and gin are distilled to remove all of the congeners entirely to yield a neutral flavor, whereas congeners are purposely left in darker spirits to add depth of flavor and dark color. Whether you're taking shots or making a mixed drink, you can never go wrong with a bottle of vodka. Kentucky Gentleman. The company's clear and flavored vodkas are at the high end of the "cheap… This cast iron pizza recipe is the easiest method for making a crisp-crusted, airy, chewy pan pizza at home. I don't like Southern Comfort and I do like Tabasco, so I figured I had a 50-50 shot of enjoying their marriage, but it turns out that the Tabasco makes for too flimsy a band-aid to cover up the bad booze. It turns out I didn't hate enough things in 2012. Can you tell the difference between the shittiest of shitty vodkas? Careful though, it works fast b/c of the bubbles! The most common complaint about Tabasco is that it provides more pucker than flavor, and that is the case here. The staple of every Penn State student’s freshman year…. To help you choose what the best vodka is for your personal tastes, we have created a ranking divided up into a number of sub-categories: Best Russian Vodka, Best Flavored Vodka, Best Potato Vodka, and Best Cheap Vodka. Rheingold is one of the least hoppy beers I can remember tasting, and the nicest thing I can say about it is that the lack of balance makes it distinct. Smirnoff Whipped Cream vodka wasn't as terrible as I had feared, but the Fluffed Marshmallow's pretty bad. The nastiest vodka is Gordon's or any kind that comes in giant plastic jugs for under 10 bucks. New Amsterdam Straight Gin. Then, Rhianna tried to reason with me. Until then, here's a reminder of the worst things I drank for the first and last time over the past 12 months. I figured my problem in compiling this roundup of the year's most repulsive liquorstuffs would be challenging, and it was, but for the exact opposite reason as expected. My buddy Pavlov likens it to cat piss, to which I can only say he must be hanging around with the wrong kind of cats, because my Moosehead sample was so nasty it could only have come from the darkest parts of a dog who'd eaten a skunk. When it comes Friday night and you are ready for a cocktail with your workmates, but you are on a budget, fear not! Rheingold Lager (let's assume its adherents call it Rheiny) has a cool name, a cool label, a cool back story, and a terrible flavor. Vodka is usually distilled close to 95% or 96% ethanol, while whiskey is usually no more than 80%. There's no doubt that Smirnoff is classic cheap vodka, costing just $10 for unflavored and about $15 for flavored. The only reason I didn't immediately demand an FDA recall is that it has the decency to be 70 proof, so you only need a couple swallows to quiet your cough long enough to crawl back to the medicine man for a different prescription. So grab a brown-labeled bottle and cozy up in for a night of drunk movies and warmth. Maybe you just overdrank it in college, that’s your fault, but the “#1 vodka of 2033” is really an affordable, dare we say tasty, cheap vodka brand that most are sleeping on. Per our updated privacy policy, we use cookies to track your browsing behavior on our site and provide you with ads or other offers that may be relevant to you. “Vodka… To find the best vodka brands at every price, VinePair tasted dozens of spirits from different countries and base grains. A friend recently told me that, after a night of hard partying, he suffered through a terrible hangover. See the list of the 15 best vodkas for 2019 now! By November 12, 2020 Uncategorized 0 comments Like all good things in life, the key is moderation. Try a "Dimetapp" vodka and grape soda, it's yummy. After downing it like champs, they all came to the same conclusion that, “it wasn’t particularly awful.”, They all unanimously voted the Crown Russe as Svedka, Because we needed an excuse to finally finish the bottle that’s been chilling on our bar…, As I handed them each the second shot, Vince looked over at me to ask, “Can I have water to clean my pallet?”, However, instead of having water, they all decided it would be a great idea to chase the shitty vodka down with some good ol’ shitty Franzia…, (Drinking Franzia out of a straw as a chaser…If that’s your strategy to survive this, good luck! In unison, they matter-of-factly screamed, “It’s 100% Vlad!”. But to no avail, I poured them each one more shot. This is because it is distilled to a higher alcohol content than whiskey. It tastes simultaneously sweet and sour, but not in the good soup way. There are some good cheap vodka brands use grains to distill their spirits while other top inexpensive vodkas use potatoes. And it’s kind of pointless to splurge anyway, given that it’s probably going to end up in a cocktail. My roommates begged for me to let them free. The answer to this kind of question is "it depends on how much you are drinking," and the amount varies from person to person. After revealing these results to my subjects, Vince daringly admitted, “Vlad wasn’t that bad.”. Comments can take a minute to appear—please be patient! All three of them were still traumatized from what they thought was Vlad and begged me not to make them continue. The taste is heavy-handed and ultrachemical, and while it manages to mask the vodka, it's in that defeatist way that too much ketchup can mask a burned hamburger. Tito's Handmade Vodka will usually run you about $14 a bottle and is one of the more well-known of the best cheap vodkas on the market. If you see something not so nice, please, report an inappropriate comment. It turns out that it’s not so much about expensive versus cheap, it’s all about the brand. The taste, however, is more of a straight disappointment. Shop / Apparel / Barware / Glassware / Tabletop / Articles / Beer / I’m begging.” Then continued, “I’ll slap the bag instead.”. As it turns out, vodka is actually harder to make than whiskey. Before taking the final shot, Rhianna decided to switch cups with Vince because she, “wanted the one with less.”. To view our privacy policy in full, click here. We tasted and ranked the best cheap vodka under $20. I promise to crack a much stiffer whip in 2013. According to this experiment, Pinnacle is the shittiest of the shittiest at a slightly more expensive price. I try to avoid the cliche that this or that cheap hooch tastes like cough syrup, but I can think of no better description of Mr. Boston Wild Cherry Brandy. Luksusowa—which means “luxurious” in Polish—has been around since 1928, so you know it’s going to be good. For me, I stick with the pomegranate or pineapple flavors. These are the best cheap vodka brands, ranked from best to worst by user votes. He also added that he thought it was because he had chosen cheap booze the night before to save a few bucks, which be blamed for the savage hangover. The disgusted looks on their faces grew permanent as they tried to force this poison into their bodies. By using our site, you agree to these terms. ), After taking the shot, repulsed looks appeared on all three of their faces. Svedka is probably the most bang for your buck option on the market that honestly isn’t the worst to slug down. They all looked at me with more disgusted faces, courageously took the shot, and collectively agreed, “Wow. Whereas I thought I'd have to grudgingly exclude dozens of crappy things I'd described as "not quite downright atrocious, in a certain context, if you were desperate," I found instead that I went pretty easy on some pretty dubious drinks last year. That’s a price you can’t beat. However, in that moment of desperation, she pleaded, “Please don’t make me take this. A reminder of the worst things I drank for the first and last time over the past 12 months. The begging to stop continued until I told them to take their final shot. Some comments may be held for manual review. We tasted vodkas across a broad array of price points, countries of o The Blackberry Merlot and White Pear Pinot Grigio weren't anything close to good, but at least they did betray some narrow undercurrent of wine beneath the expected hard-candy fruit flavors. Click through the below gallery to see what we mean. Arbor Mist introduced a new line of frozen wine cocktail silliness. A Long Island iced tea may contain rum, vodka, tequila, triple sec, gin, cola, and sour mix. At its worst, this drink would contain as … I quickly formed enemies. Subscribe to our newsletter to get the latest recipes and tips. Part of the negative stigma surrounding vodka is due to the massive amount of cheap, bad vodka on the market. Will Gordon drinks his way through the bottom shelf of the liquor store...so you don’t have to. Learn more on our Terms of Use page. The best cooking method for the most tender cut of meat around. This stuff is rough. And Vlad was… wait for it… the EASIEST of the four shots to take. It smells like sweet musty corn, and the flavor is so sweet as to be almost fruity. I walked out of the kitchen and into the living room to hand my roommates their third round of shots. Despite—eh, who are we kidding, because of—its mass appeal, vodka is disdained by most cocktail snobs, which is reason enough to celebrate its continued prominence. So which cheap vodka wins the title as the “shittiest of the shittiest?”. I try to avoid the cliche that this or that cheap hooch tastes like cough syrup, ... and while it manages to mask the vodka, it's in that defeatist way that too much ketchup can mask a burned hamburger. What's the weirdest tasting liquor you've ever downed? Luksusowa Vodka ($12). Good question! Post whatever you want, just keep it seriously about eats, seriously. They boldly claimed to have just consumed Crown Russe. This type of drink is usually served in a large glass. Rhianna and Meghan (my two roommates) and Vince (Rhianna’s boyfriend) courageously (naively) gave consent. I don't think … SoCo Pepper is by no means too spicy to drink, but all the Tabasco does is provide a hot vinegar cover for the lackluster underlying alcohol. The options are endless when you’ve got the best vodka on your bar cart.. On the market are plenty of expensive vodka brands, including French vodka, Polish vodka, Russian vodka and American vodka.As one of the world’s most versatile spirits, a good, cheap vodka is a staple bottle while a top shelf vodka can be the perfect addition to a dinner party. So which cheap vodka wins the title as the “shittiest of the shittiest?” According to this experiment, Pinnacle is the shittiest of the shittiest at a slightly more expensive price. Vodka brands are experimenting more than ever with how they’re making it, as well as infusing and distilling their spirits with unique flavors. The Rankings: All 10 Gins, Ranked From Worst to Best. To create this ranking, we assessed each spirit based on the following categories: Companies across the board are trying out ever-wackier flavors these days, with inspiration running the gamut from sweets (mmm ... cake-flavored vodka) to downright scary creepy crawlers. She vowed not to try again. The Strawberry White Zinfandel was predictably messy, as it matched the sweetest fake-fruit with the trashiest fake wine. I kindly nominated myself to be the sober host of this little experiment while three brave souls agreed to (were tricked into) being the test subjects. This 100-percent local corn vodka, which comes gluten-free and certified kosher, serves whispers of citrus, sweetness, and silkiness thanks to its proprietary 24-hour charcoal filtration. Some HTML is OK: link, strong, em. Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. It makes taking a shot taste a lot less cheap tasting. But vodka has uses far beyond simply riling up the joyless prigs who pretend to prefer chartreuse. Moments before beginning our experiment, Rhianna attempted to “slap the bag” for the first time in her life (she’s a senior… where has she been?). Molson Canadian and Labatt Blue fared well in the Canadian edition of the Bottom Shelf Beer Olympics, but Moosehead was even worse than anticipated. Deep Eddy Vodka Deep Eddy Vodka came onto the scene in 2010 and made a big splash in the vodka market. Fireball - $15 Christin Urso. She embarrassingly failed managing to slap it completely out of Meghan’s hands and onto the floor before getting a taste of Franzia on her tongue. This doesn't taste like "just another crappy macro-lager," but in my opinion it tastes worse. The Rankings: All 13 Bourbons, Ranked From Worst to Best. Drinking to get drunk is never healthy. worst cheap vodka. Svedka received the second strongest reaction. I realized taking straight shots of shitty vodka might be traumatizing enough, so instead of blindfolding Rhianna, Meghan, and Vince (yes that was my original plan…), I had them sit on the couch in our living room, while I prepared them shots from the kitchen. 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